In The Basement of Doom
by AagwaMiyusu
Summary: Yuffie goes to get the wine from the basement. She tags along a random guy, who just happens to Vince. But suddenly, the door's locked. Oh the agony! The adventures spent in one night in the Basement of 7th Heaven! T for dunno, weirdness and language.
1. Chapta 1

**DISCLAIMER:**I do not own Yuffie and her love-buddy Vincent. I don't own the bar, Tifa or her love-buddy Cloud as well. I only own the auto-lock that got them in the situation the first place. xD Lawyers beware, I have waffles.

BTW, I kinda made another story with regards to this one http:/www. fanfiction. net/s/5161314/1/In_The_Name_Of_Yuffie_Kisaragi Wonderful story and a must-read for all Yuffentine fans! Uh, sorry for not mentioning in first place..

* * *

The single White Rose of Wutai, princess Ninja, Yuffie Kisaragi, does NOT like being stuck in a room.

Alone.

With Vincent Valentine.

Well, _technically_ not alone, but like whatever! Vinnie would obviously be like brooding and busy being the angsty vampire and 'atoning for the sins he didn't even commit' and all that psycho crap while I _try_ to get out of the stupid basement! AND THE NINJA DOES NOT LIKE TO BE SHUT IN THE CREEPY WEIRD BASEMENT OF TIFA'S BAR! ESPECIALLY WITH THE SEXY ANGSTY VAMPIRE!

Wait, what did I think right now?

OH HELL NO. NOT AGAIN….

This must be the 3rd time I said this to myself in the last _hour_. Ugh….

Well, might as well explain how the hell _me_ and _Vinnie_ got stuck in the _basement_ of _DOOOOM_.

It started with the shortage of wine. No not that; it started with the bar OPENING AT 10 AM. Hell I still can't believe Tifa hasn't passed out! Last time I took the bar on my hands, I was sooooo exhausted after the lunch hour and I still made it through the night time. I'm alive; THANK LEVIATHAN THAT I AM!

Okay anyways, yah, shortage of the wine bottles. Today was actually kinda like a small get-together. No wait; if Elena and Tseng were actually making out before we left I guess it could be called a 'Hammered $#% Party.' Hehehehehe. And like, Leviathan's sake, Tifa still hasn't gotten drunk! I think cause she was still sober enough to stop after her 5th drink.

And that lady sent me down when I was just _about_ to, just _ABOUT_ to drink my 3rd one! OH LEVIATHAN WHY? Okay so I got up and guess what? I think I wasn't that much conscious to even _see_ who I had tagged along with me. And guess who it was?

Yep, it's Vincent Valentine, the master of brooding and angsty-ness ness. And why the leviathan I brought him here? Cause I was actually semi-drunk enough to get_anyone_ off the barstool and _dragging_ them to hell with me. Not even alert enough to see _who_ it was.

Well, _Vinnie_ was seriously another case.

Ugh. There's the vamp, actually just _sitting_ down there and _watching_ me trying to open the damn _locked_ door.

Oh, why was it locked? Cause Tifa had an auto-lock installed that opens with a code (That Cloud and Teef _only_ knew) so that _I_ didn't sneak in to get stoned or something. Why oh why doesn't Tifa trust me? I mean; a few bottles of alcohol _never_ hurt anyone right? Well, anyways, Vinnie just _HAD TO_ close the damn door. Wasn't he even _aware_ that the door locks itself SHUT until someone opens it from _outside_? And I'm sure I won't be seeing Teef _or_ Cloud anytime sooner. Cause Teef's busy with the bar and well, Cloud probably won't even _notice_ me and Vinnie missing! Oh, and the code thing? I'm sure I forgot what it was already….

Well, now then. I guess it has been about 5 minutes that me and Vinnie we-

"Yuffie, what are you trying to do?" DAMN YOU VINNIE. I WAS _TRYING_TO TELL PEOPLE OUR SITUATION!

"Well, Vinnie, I am _trying_ to get us out of _here_." I said with frustration stuck in my BRAINS. I tugged at the door knob again. And seriously, having a leg on the wall and one on the door, trying to _apparently_ pull the door _knob_, sucks. Gosh, Vinnie must have a fine view of my as-

"Why?"

I never thought I'd say that Vinnie was _denser_ than Cloud. Oh gosh, doesn't _he_ want to get out of _this_ trap? WELL, I DO!

"Vinnie, seriously, don't you wanna GET OUT of HERE?" I said, literally, screaming those three words. I slightly jumped off from the door and the wall, (Uh, my feet were there cause I was trying to pull the door? (_Knob_?)) and then landed on the steps of the stair case. The thing creaked as I started going downwards.

Well, Vinnie was sitting in a corner and you could see him good from the staircase and believe me, not even a _single_ hint that he wanted to get out. He apparently looked pleased, I think. But he was _smirking,_ _SMIRKING_ in front of YUFFIE KISARAGI! Oh how I wanna shove my shuriken in the wrong places. HIS wrong places….

...

Leviathan's sake somebody stop the dirty pictures playing in my head….

Thank LEVIATHAN, that Vinnie can't see my _blushing_ face in this stupid DARK side of SEPHIROTH'S as-

I hopped down when I was two steps away from the floor and then,

"Yuffie, I do want to get out, but I prefer the quietness here than the noise outside." WHAT! Oh wait, this _IS_ Vincent Valentine we're talking with. Obviously he has thing against social gatherings.

"Vinnie, do you _seriously_ have a thing against social gatherings?" CRAP. I hate you, mind. Why do you always take advantage of my head?

"No."

"Then why do you _prefer_ living in the stinky silence of this stupid _basement_?"

"I did not say that I _prefer_ living here. It lacks basic commodities. I said I _prefer_the quietness here."

"It's the same!"

"No, it is not."

"Yes"

"No."

"Yes"

"..."

IT'S THE DOTS OF DOOM. Besides, he knows that no one EVER CAN win with Yuffie Kisaragi in a match of YES and NO. And Vinnie knows it well. Even, Cid. And Barret? Okay, I should stop talking about who-who knows about this. Well, either way, uh, okay I hate his dots but can't thing of anything to think….

"Can you try NOT to talk with dots? AGAIN?" CRAP. AGAIN.

"Yuffie, I did not 'talk with dots.' I did not say anything at all." ARGH! How can I bear him again? Oh yah, it's because I love him- I #$&^!)* HATE YOU! NOT AGAIN! See what I mean, 4th time I said this to myself, AGAIN.

"UGH"

"..."

"LEVIATHAN'S SAKE"

"..."

"HMPH" and then I went to other side of the creepy basement. Well, lemme describe the 'room' before I forget to do it again.

There were full-length shelves. All full of bottles. Which I had no idea about what was inside. In particular. Obviously alcohol. But I'm pretty much sure Vinnie will smash them all, if needed to. Because seriously, how the hell will he hold all the above-100 alcohol bottles when I'm gonna get them? Just imagine, above-100 bottles, piled up in Vinnie's sexy arms. Nah, I give up; I think he's sexy anyways. Wait, he is. HAH.

Oh yah, and then, they'd fall from his sexy hands and smash into the floor. Cool! And then we'd be dripping with wine and he'd look so ultra sexy _because_ he looks sooooo we-

Anyways, that smash thing would be a 'might' cause then, Teef will show her awesome Teef powers to Vincent, and he won't be able to do ANYTHING cause of Cloud. HAHAHA!

Anyways, other than that, there was a chair, which Vinnie sat on, and a stool which I currently was sitting on. Some shelves were there and some of them were seriously covered in cobwebs…. And then, I stiffened at the sight of the monster that walked over the web. Vinnie seemed to notice me cause then, next thing he smirked, obviously aware of the monster that was crawling.

Oh, how I wanted to shove my shuriken up his as-

"Vinnie."

"Yes, Yuffie?"

"How the hell are we gonna get out?" His smirk wiped off. Heh.

"..."

"UGH. VINNIE TELL ME SOME IDEAS"

"..."

"GAWDDAMNIT!"

DAMN, there is no window to start off. And the only windows that _were_ there were only TWO windows and both big enough to let a cat (Not even Cait Sith) through, not two people _our_ size. Well, _Vincent's_ size. And second of all, the screaming idea SUCKS. Why? Because I just _had_ to turn on the _damn music_. Believe me, I had turned it on so _loud_, I'm pretty much sure that no one would even hear _anybody_ having se-

And if I were to kick our way out of here, Tifa will make sure I pay every gil back to her for repairing the door. Seriously I don't wanna do that. Same applies for Vincent too; if he clawed his way out or unleashed the Death Penalty upon the door, he'd face Teef's fury.

"Yuffie."

OMG VINNIE HAD ACTUALLY STARTED A CONVERSATION. OMG OHMIGAWD OH MY LEVIATHAN GAWD. HEH.

"Yes, Vinnie?"

"Why did you drag me with you?" You ask me that? You start a conversation just to ask me that?

"Teef wanted me to get some wine bottles from the basement."

"..." Feh as if I, Yuffie Kisaragi, care.

"Which reminds me…." I stood up and went over to a random shelf. No not those cobwebbed ones. Ew. Vinnie would probably start laughing again if he even saw my inner state about that _monster_. Okay so I went over to the shelf. They were covered with a thin sheet of dust. So Teef's been coming down here every now and then, I guess. or maybe she's been cleaning them or something. But that'd be stupid cause Teef's ultra super busy and all that. And her doing this instead of sleeping is seriously just unexplainable. Fetish?

Wait, when did I start talking about Teef coming down here to clean some dust laden alcohol bottles?

Way out of topic.

SOOOOOOO out of topic.

Okay back to the bottles.

I randomly took a bottle out from the dust laden ones. Yes they were stacked, but I took the bottle that was on the top of the stack, so that they don't break and Tifa doesn't unleash her fury on me. No; NINJAS ARE NOT SCARED. ESPECIALLY YUFFIE KISARAGI. I'm just being cautious, yes cautious, because I don't want to clean up a mess while being stuck in the creepy basement, AT THE SAME TIME. Especially with sexy Vincent Valentine. No, now I don't care AT ALL.

Okay, I saw a rag nearby and cleaned the bottle with it. Luckily enough, the rag kinda looked hygienic enough to be used so it doesn't matter.

I wiped the bottle clean and then looked on the cover. And just when I was about to read it, guess who sniped it from me? That's right; Vincent the thief is back. And I thought I was the only one….

"Yuffie, that is not good for you."

"Vinnie, don't tell me what's good or not. I know that alcohol is definitely good!" I turned around to see him holding it in his clawed hand, the bottle literally trapped in a cage of metal _claws_. He didn't seem pleased right now, and the small bit of moonlight that lighted the inside was sparkling, _SPARKLING_ in Vinnie's eyes. Oh Leviathan, his eyes look so sexy no-

WAIT. IS HE SMIRKING _AGAIN_? Oh yeah, obviously he noticed the blush on my face. Those small stingy windows pretty much lightened up the whole room, except the staircase because the small _tiny_ bulb of artificial light pretty much made it dark at the staircase side of the basement. Somehow it did; even though that made no sense in _anyway_.

Wait, what the hell am I saying anyways?

GAWD DAMMNIT VINNIE'S SMIRK OF SEXINESS IS DISTURBING MY TRAIN OF THOUGHTS.

Ugh.

"Yuffie, you are not to touch alcohol for tonight." OML, in Vinnie setting up RULES for me? Hell yah, as if I'll listen to him and his RULES.

So what do I do next? I take another bottle and smirk at him. And this time, I don't bother with the cleaning, cause I know that Vinnie _will_ take it from me.

And he does.

His other human hand is now clutching MY _other_beloved alcohol and now he kinda looks funny. His glaring face was busy glaring at my _smirk_ as he held the two bottles at his sides. Like, in other words, the two bottles were leveled with his shoulders as his sexy eyes stared from between the bottles, and, frankly, it looked like he was asking which one was better, bottle #1 or bottle #2.

Buhaha.

And then what I did?

I took another one. And my smirk grew bigger. AW MAN, THIS ROCKS! You should've seen his face; he was glaring at my hand as it took another bottle from the stack. And now what will Vinnie do? Grab the bottle somehow and even _manage_ to hold it, or just let me be.

HAHAH IN YOUR FACE!

And then I closed my eyes to take in the AIR of the glorious VICTORY from defeating the oh-so-sexy VINNIE at his own GAME. Though I don't actually remember this being a game. MY FACE IS SMIRKING! YAAY! And so, I start cackling with the -cue MY evilness- maniacal laughter. Seriously, I just don't kno-

...

...

...

...

...

#$%.

* * *

And cue the cliff hanger. Okay. Just entered my head, and I'm going nowhere practically with it. 2nd chapta is near completion and will be up soooooon. **Very soon...**

**Reviews**welcomed, flames invited and yes, stupidity ensued.  
**Notify incase of spelling/grammar/etc mistakes. My stupid creator.**


	2. Chapta 2

+~o.o~+

In the few moments of when Yuffie had _successfully_ taken a bottle and laughed at Vincent's defeat, the gunslinger had taken advantage of Yuffie's closed eyes. And as smoothly and noiselessly he could, he delivered one swift, and yet, _soft_-

KISS?

WTFH!

Oh-

WAIT! Sorry, Vince, I'll continue narrating-

-_kiss_ on the slightly plump red lips of the young Wutain princess, Yuffie Kisaragi, the ninja and the White Rose of Wutai. And by god, I so seriously ad-

OKAY FINE VINCE. I WON'T SAY WHAT'S ON _**MY**_ MIND. NOW STOP DEATH GLARING AT _**MY**_ LIPS.

+~o.o~+

Okay, I can't think now. No, not that, I can't imagine anything, especially about how _SOFT_ or even how much _GENTLE_ they were.

Ok.

I think that was my **first** kiss.

Wow.

Wow.

Woah…

He pulled away, and seriously, I can SEE my own face BLUSHING and GLOWING the surrounding air particles. And practically making him smirk wider cause of my BLUSH.

Wow.

His kiss was so sweet like wine.

Wait.

WHAT?

"Why the HELL did you do that?" I asked, the blush STILL not disappearing one bit. And gawd damnit, why the #$^ was it a whisper? He just smirked even WIDER, if possible, and if I'm not mistaken, was he blushing a bit as well?

No, I MUST be mistaken. Because the angsty vampire, who had awoken from the coffin after **30** FRIGGIN' years, does not blush.

Ever.

Not even once.

Not even when he explained the birds and bees to Marlene.

Not even when I showed his red boxers to the world.

And definitely not now.

Because the blood vessels in his cheeks must've been shriveled up and dead by now.

They SHOULD be.

Because he looks sexy with a blushing/smirking face.

And I seriously wanna punch that face.

"Impulse Yuffie, impulse." Vincent replied as he raised his left clawed hand holding the bottle. For a second there, I thought he was gonna push me up against the shelf and-

His clawed hand kept the bottle in it carefully as it went over my right shoulder and kept the bottle. I'm surprised that I haven't dropped the one in my hand. My knuckles were quite white, the death grip still not breaking the bottle into two.

And I so wanna kill him for using my OWN words against ME.

My mouth's open.

Wow.

He put his hand back to his original place.

Even more Wow.

Okay, I shut my mouth close after that, and then, he did something I didn't quite expect. He yanked the cork off in one swift movement, and as gentleman-_ishly_ as he could, he drank the contents of the bottle. And I was staring at him, my blush apparently stubborn enough to NOT go away. And believe me; even my _blush_ couldn't believe what it was seeing as well. Well, I don't know if my cheeks have eyes or something like that! But my own pair of _delicious_ chocolate orbs couldn't believe the sight for SURE.

My jaw, after registering this, hit the floor, rhetorically speaking.

And here I, uh, WAS, being prevented to drink by Vinnie, the pooh, who, currently, IS drinking the old fermented drink faster than the Death Penalty shooting holes on your as-

Yuffie Kisaragi is angry.

Raged.

Furious.

Even fascinated, for some unknown Leviathan's reasons.

And now, all I wanna do is open the bottle and swallow the contents in one go.

Which I couldn't do cause I'm frozen stiff.

And then, as soon as he had put the bottle on his lips (OH SO SMEXY LIPS!) after 5 seconds he removed it, a slight more _pronounced_ blush appearing on his OH SO SMEXY cheeks. Did I mention that I was thinking a bit _too much_ during the last 5 seconds? Guess not. Hehehehehe.

He licked the remaining wine left on his lips.

I melted, speaking rhetorically again.

His expressions didn't change; it was the same ever since we saw his face rise out of the god-damn coffin.

Only difference was the alien emotion in his eye. Something that I sooo didn't want to know about. Because they were lingering on mine.

Red and Brown. Blood and Chocolates. Etc. Etc.

And it was definitely weird and weird things have every right of being ignored.

So I did what Mr. Guts told me to do.

I backed away slowly and gently _away_ from Vamp, my dazed eyes not moving once from his.

And before, I even took a step,

"Yuffie, do not worry. I am still sober enough to know what I am doing."

Yah, that hit me straight on.

I blushed FURIOUSLY because Vincent Vinnie McVamp Valentine had PRACTICALLY read my stupid mind and knew that I thought he was gonna do something really _really_ BAD...

Hey, Vinnie. If you're reading this, remember,

YOU SUCK.

And-

"No I do not suck, Yuffie."

...

...

Yep, my mouth was hanging open.

Yes, I am thinking what you are thin-

"And no Yuffie. I cannot read thoughts."

-king… STOP READING MY MIND.

"VINNIE, STOP READING MY $$%$^$ MIND!"

Vinnie pooh did nothing but turn around, do the Cloak Flip (It's in Capitals. CAPITALS.) And then he went towards the chair, the bottle dangling in his clawed hand. He seriously needed to get stoned so that we both just begin the se-

OH MAH GAWD. Why do I think nasty thoughts?

Oh yah, now I remembered.

Because of Cid.

CID HIGHWIND.

OMG, must remember to glomp him, kiss him and then maybe get married!

Yeah, that's nice, except for the last bit. He's too old and Shera would gladly whiplash my sexy butt….

While Vinnie sat his hot sexy butt on the chair and was busy staring at me. I could tell what exactly did the stare meant.

_Unfreeze-and-sit-your-ass-down._

Yah, that's right. It was THAT kind of stare. Not that I felt scared about it, never, nope, not even when I fought with the crazy psychopath that had a longer-than-leviathan sword. Nope. Not even when Vinnie gave me his full-powered I-Want-You-Dead-Now glare when I _did_ show his sexy boxers to the world. That happened, yeah it did. And I'm a 100% sure that Chocobo-head would've annoyed the victim if it was Cid or somebody. Would've, not should've cause well….

Cause I know that you know that Chocobo-head knows which Vinnie will obviously know that the vampire must-atone-for-sins sexy hot guy will shoot holes in the Chocobo's butt. And he would even do the same for Teef (Cause she'd attack him), if needed. Since, well, he'd be too annoyed to care about anything so he'll go maniac-crazy and unleash Cerberus upon the Planet's scrawny as-

Okaaaay, back to topic.

I unfreeze-d and sat my ass down.

And believe me; Mr. Blush was still doing his spotlight show of blushing. I swear I am SO GONNA fire him when I get the chance. But, uh, how come a HE is living on my cheeks, I mean like. Come on; a HE, _he_ is performing on my beautifully lusciously _deliciously_ tasty cheeks. What a pervert….

Speaking of _pervert_….

There's that hot sexy piece of sexiness, sitting on that stupid comfy cushiony chair while staring at me at the SAME time. Ugh. Not only is he staring, but he's even SMIRKING at me! HOW DARE HE?

Great, I'm stuck in here with the vampire who SMIRKS and is obviously having a BOTTLE of wine. Okay, I'm so well aware that blood suckers like to drink wine from a glass cause of like stupid sophistication and blah, blah, but seriously, he is one stupid vampire.

And, JUST LOOK AT HIM!

SITTING, SMIRKING AND TWIRLING THE STUPID DUSTY BOTTLE AROUND HIS SEXY FINGERS!

Ugh, I hate that sexy wine-drinking blood-sucking angsty-brooding perverted-old vampire….

YES, I, Yuffie Kisaragi, WHITE ROSE OF WUTAI, HATES HIM!

UGH!

* * *

Well, that is really really short. But, well at least I wrote one! And, sorry for the lateness. -.-  
Dedicated to Knock-Out92, my first reviewer (**YAAY!**) who had made my day for one complete week. So, third chapter will be here soon as well. And, well, uh. Domo!

Oh, reviews welcomed bla-de-bla, and end.  
**Notify incase of seriously stupid mistakes in grammar/spelling/etc.**


	3. Chapta 3

+~o.o~+

Outside of the door of the Basement of Doom, there was one heck of a party going on in the Seventh Heaven of Fun.

AVALANCHE, the Turks, the Commissioner of WRO, Red XIII and, surprisingly enough, Rufus Shinra were sitting in Seventh Heaven's bar, the only sober people being (Maybe) Tifa, Nanaki and Cait Sith, since he was only a robot.

The only thing Tifa was thinking was the fact that it's a _wild _**orgy** OUT there. But since there was no sex, it was a wild hammered $#% party. She couldn't believe what was happening in front of her.

And practically beside her.

Well, since I type so, we'll start with what's happening front.

Tseng and Elena. Kissing buddies. Sitting in a corner.

Reno, Rude, Reeve, Cid and, surprisingly, Shera, having a quiet a wild drinking game. Drink, drink and continue drinking. And a bit of _wild _kissing on Cid's and Shera's side. Apparently, Reeve didn't partake directly since he didn't want to get literally hammered with the hammer. Just drunk but not completely. Partial drunk, ya know? Either way, the party of 5 was really drunk. I mean SUPER drunk. Except Reeve; partial SUPER drunk. LoL.

And very, _very _surprisingly enough, Rufus and out of all the people, Barret, and Nanaki were having a conversation. For Barret and Rufus to actually talk like civil people must mean that they'd have the hell of a hangover tomorrow. And they'd never get rid of it.

Cait Sith was sitting on the bar counter, his legs swaying back and forth as he watched the events taking place in the bar. He'd never ever forget what they were doing. Lucky for the _Planet_, he was busy recording the _precious_ **wonderful **moments on the ingenious video camera. Black mail now has a whole new meaning! Which's meaning I'm unaware of. Too bad Yuffie isn't here…. She's the most potential source of embarrassment when she's drunk.

And beside Tifa? Well, Cloud was sooo drunk; he was busy keeping Tifa stuck onto his well-built chest. His chin was atop her left shoulder and he was busy smiling like a lunatic who was whispering some really, _really_ dirty lunatic things to her. And they actually was making Tifa blush like a lunatic as well.

Ah, deflowering love. Wtf?

So, yes, practically, it really was a hammered $%# party? Why again was it organized? Well, Cid came up with the sudden idea to have everybody get-together during the nearing weekends. Everyone had come as asked, but Rufus and his dogs (Sexy ones too) decided to drop in for a visit as well. So they met, les glares, and bla-de-bla.

And as for getting drunk; well, not everybody has the world's most perfect control and Rufus certainly wasn't anywhere near it cause soon enough, he was joining the Turks in the drinking game. Which involves…drinking and some more drinking…I guess….

Anyways, sooooo, back to topic. So later on, Rufus the Drunk joined an even more drunk Barret (And Nanaki) in a civilized conversation on how moogles populate.

Luckily enough, Cloud decided to take a time off from his delivery (Of babies -COUGH COUGH-) service on that particular day.

So, that's how the story had formed and how eventually the party was hammered, stoned, beat, whatever.

+~o.o~+

* * *

Okay so this is the third chapter describing what exactly is happening outside of the doom-room. And um, forgive me for the lateness, but, believe me, there was this really really long story on what happened with the computer cable. You don't wanna know or would you like to have another Yuffie here? Nope, not me. Because she so talks too much, and her talking-ness is bugging me quite a lot. Oh, and, dear readers, I'm currently unaware for what to do for the ending, so uh-

**Please, suggestions are welcomed and needed so very much right now. Thank you. And excuse my stupid creator for her retard-ness.  
Oh, and you know the drill. Notify in case of mistakes cause we didn't have time to proof-read it, I guess. **

And um, could somebody tell me what AU is exactly? I'm not so familiar with it cause nobody actually writes what it means. They just type down AU, and that's it... I guess... **What did I tell ya? Retard. **Shut up.


	4. Chapta 4

+~o.o~+

Vince is seriously creeping me out! It's been some time already I guess, but ugh! It's more boring than hearing my stomach churn and that isn't nearly boring as this is! And worst of all, he's been just staring at me! Drink, stare, drink, stare and repeat! DRINKING, this whole time! Well, I'm drunk as well; I opened the bottle about a minute after Vinnie, the vampster started his lil private staring contest. And right now, I'm the lil voice that hasn't given in to the oh-so-awesome drunkenness.

**Who the ^$# are you anyways?**

Your ^$#ing conscious, you stupid ^$#.

**I had one of those? WOWWWWW! OMG, are you like Chaos, or that Hell masker, or something like Galian the fluffy doggie! Are you like them? Do you have super powers or are you a demon or do I have to like become like Vinnie or do I have to give you a name or are you female or a transvestite male or something or maybe even homo-**

SHUT THE HELL UP.

**You know, you just had to ask, cause that's just plain stupid. I listen you know? Just say, like 'be quiet' or like 'shut the $#%^ up' like how Cid does and all, then I'd have gotten quiet you know. It's just mean to shout and shouting isn't nice because my so-called father shouts at me all the time. And the old fart isn't nice you know. Because he send me off to steal materia and then he treats me so badly, that makes me wanna screw his ass into Leviathan's mouth and then-**

...

I am so not continuing this conversation with myself…

+~o.o~+

* * *

Vincent was staring at Yuffie with no emotion, taking a swig every now and then from the bottle that didn't seem to end. A slight blush adorned his face and he seemed to sway a bit as well. Yuffie had her own bottle and was drinking rather heavily; a thick, glowing blush adorning her cheeks. This process continued for 10 min, Yuffie matching him with a glare instead.

And then, Yuffie suddenly stood up.

"VINCE, my boy!" Yuffie exclaimed loudly as she raised both her hands and the bottle into the air. "Oh I love you!" Yuffie exclaimed and then, she did the gun shot pose with her fingers. Vincent slowly kept the bottle down on the ground in front of him, expecting some action of some sort. "Now get ready to feel my !#!#$% love!"

And then she 'shot' Vincent with an audible 'BANG.'

And then Vincent toppled down from his chair and fell to the floor, his pointy clown shoes in the air, and the bottle undisturbed on the ground.

"Vince?"

No reply.

"Vince."

Still no reply.

"Pimp buddy?"

A cough, some more coughing, wheezing and then a weak reply of "Yuffie…"

"Buddy? Hold, I'm redirecting the call!" Yuffie kept the bottle down on the ground, the 'tink' sound echoing as she skipped over to were Vince lay motionless, even for his legs-that-are-in-the-air. And then, she saw Vinnie, whose tongue was hanging out with eyes loosely shut.

If she was sober, or even sub-conscious, she would've been laughing with a camera on her hand, with the promises of black mail. But because she is drunk and currently insane, she stumbled while going to his 'aid', sat down and took his head into her lap.

"Vincent! Don't die on me, pimp bud!" Yuffie exclaimed rather too dramatically, Vince's head lolling on her lap, as she proceeded to pull her hair out. And before she could make herself bald, Vince's presumably dry and cracked voice spoke out.

"Yuffie..."

"Yes, buddy old pal?" Vince coughed some more, his eyes now squinting at Yuffie's. There was a slight frown on his face and he certainly was panting. His legs were still in the air.

"I... Yuffie, I lo-"

"!"

"!"

+~o.o~+

* * *

Filler obviously. Again, as said, suggestions VERY MUCH needed. And love too. Cause inspiration's like a small fleck of dust right now, and motivation is being rubbed by school pressure. So, **PLEASE HELP US FOR THE SAKE OF LEVIATHAN AND YUFFIE'S BABIES! Thank you. **

Uh, right...  
Love needed, because you will get brownies. The yummy brownies covered with chocolate and made with even more love. :PP


	5. Chapta 5

Since I've noticed that the word disappears everytime I edit, the last exclamation mark is actually supposed to be -ACCHHHOOOOOO- Just thought I'd fill in. And, well, I am daaaaamn sorry for the lateness. But **screw **THE FORKING E WORD. **Exams? **SHUT UP.

* * *

+~o.o~+

WHAT THE ##%!$!~! NOOO, SUCH A PERFECT MOMENT! !#1$^%!#4!$!%$^$3#$#%#$^%&!&%^*%#!#$**%#$% (And some more cusses…) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

...

Okay.

Calm. Down. Yes, calm down…

In with the good air, out with the bad words.

In, out.

Okay. Now then.

WHO THE FUCK SNEEZES AT SUCH A PERFECT MOMENT?

**Am I supposed to be sober?**

No, now shut up, stay drunk and control your body.

**...**

+~o.o~+

Vincent was seated on the ground, cross-legged and was staring at Yuffie with the same boring hot sex-

OKAY; GELLOST VINCE, IT'S MY STORY.

_Ahem._

-staring at Yuffie with his aloof face, his eyes showing concern. Yuffie NEVER sneezed; she said that it made somebody loose concentration and spoiled her 'cool' as well. So, she'd try her best not to sneeze; except when she got pepper on her nose mistakenly in the WRO mess hall. Which is what I just made up.

And, well, it caused a chain reaction of, well….

Yuffie sneezed and she shot back to bump on some poor scared newbie whose lunch flied through the air and hit some senior who in turn threw his cherry pie and missed terribly, hitting Yuffie, who, as usual, got pissed and took the pot of potato soup from the cook, and sent it flying through the air, inevitably getting it on every single freebie in the mess hall, which was later termed as the 'Never-to-be-mentioned-again Mess-incident.' Innovative, yes?

Vincent had also gotten involved somehow, but, luckily, he hadn't gotten even a spot on his red cape of doom-ness. Fear it, duh. Besides, washing it would have taken it years and its supposed to be hand washed, not machine. Cause well, it's the cape of doom-ness, duh. And it'd be a waste of time if it wasn't for the fact that he wears it _all the time_. Read it. _ALL THE TIME_.

Back to plot.

"Yuffie, are you cold?" Vincent asked. Despite that he was drunk and half sober (Not) he still cared for his missions partner and his friend and possible lov-

Vincent, YOU #$ STOP STARING AT ME WHILE I NARRATE! I'M THE GOD DAMN WRITER; I SAY WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN STORY.

_**AHEEEEM.**_

-Yes. Vincent the emo clown-with-pointy-shoes has accepted the fact that Yuffie is his friend.

What a #%$$^ shock.

He realized it long back, and when he did, he realized what the alien feeling was as well. He couldn't accept; he just couldn't. He was just so torn up from before, and even though it didn't hurt anymore, he still just couldn't. Because he wasn't ready to face the dance; he wasn't ready for anything like that. So, as a loyal friend and companion and 'bestie' as Yuffie has put it, he watched out for her, keeping her safe and away from harm.

Well, not the harm from Tifa's, because he didn't like being a obstacle to the martial artist. And all obstacles are removed rather _roughly_ in her path, if you catch my drift.

And so, he stayed quiet, he watched, he gazed, he stayed like the friend he's supposed to be. And he hoped that one day, Yuffie would see his love.

Vincent already gave way too many hints and Yuffie still hasn't picked up any. Even Cloud talks to him about it. And Tifa. Why Tifa, he still has no idea. But maybe it has to do with the fact that her situation is kinda the same as Vincent's, only that the genders are the opposite. How Tifa puts up with Cloud's density shall always remain a mystery of the world.

"No, Vinnie, I'm good." And then, Yuffie raised herself and tipsy toed to the center of the basement, where a patch of moonlight sparkled. She tippy toed again and then turned around like a ballerina and then she settled her feet down rather clumsily, grinning as she wobbled a bit from the alcohol.

The moonlight shone on her, her flawless porcelain skin glowing. She looked like a shorts-wearing angel in the moon-light.

Vincent, then realized, that no matter how much clueless Yuffie was in the basement, drunk or not, she would go out of the hell hole knowing the fact that Vincent _does _love her. And by god, even if _Vincent _would become scarred by it, his drunken mind would still never care. Because he loves Yuffie and that is finalized.

LUCRECIA YOU MAN-BITCH; TAKE A HIKE! BWAHAHAHAHAH!

So Vincent stood up from his position on the floor, and then walked over to where Yuffie was, managing not to look so much drunk. Perhaps his newfound hope was making him sober, or the fear that Yuffie might refuse his love, but either way, with each step his resolve strengthened further and further. Or, he might probably just be getting more and more drunk to actual confess it to her.

And when he stood directly in front of her, he dared to stare into her gleaming choco eyes.

"Vinnie…" Yuffie said, her eyes somewhat hopeful.

She was his sunshine. She was all that he needed. She was that missing piece to his puzzle. She was life to him.

Yuffie was what he had been searching in his life.

And then, thinking how much _corny_ it was, he kissed her for the second time.

Just a simple peck.

Which turned out into a make-out _session_ for 5 minutes.

* * *

+~o.o~+

"Cloud…"

"Yes Teef?"

"You think it was alright to do that to them…? I mean, sure Yuffie's a bit dense when it comes to her, but don't you think locking them up is a bit too harsh…?"

"Of course not, Teef."

"Oh. But I still feel guilty…. She'll think we were being nosy or something…"

"Oh Tifa…. Sometimes, relations need a kick on the rear to get them started. And, think of it as revenge for all the times she pranked us."

"OH. Okay."

+~o.o~+

* * *

That seemed...short.

...

**Inform if any mistakes. And yes, I shall beg for love, because right now, I'm going through stress because this guy (I like) is gonna propose me. That also right before exams. What joy. Kill my creator for it, but for now, just shoot me.  
Again inform of any mistakes cause FF apparently is rubbing out half of my letters. . **

Lol, that sounded weird. **Shut up.**


	6. Chapta 6

Vincent was a happy man. Not like 'happy' happy, but like 'I'M SO #$%&^ HAPPY' happy. Because right now, Yuffie was sitting right beside curled up underneath his cloak and arm. Oh he certainly was happy.

"Vinnie… Do you love me…?" Yuffie asked for the 5th time. She still couldn't believe it. And, she just wanted him to keep saying 'I love you' over and over again. It sounded just too much sweet and adorable hearing Vince say it.

"I love you Yuffie, I love you." Vincent replied, his eyes closed in bliss. He didn't care how many times he had to say, its just that he got the privilege to say as many times as he wanted to.

They were watching that little bit of moon they could see from the cellar's window. Even though the view was partly covered by some grass, they still didn't care. As long as they were in each other's company. Vincent couldn't tell how long they were in the damp cellar, but he pretty much didn't give a damn. Cause right now, if anybody else was here, his back would seriously hurt from all the 'man' punches he would get from his companions.

* * *

He certainly was sober after the little confession but Yuffie seemed to have become more drunk. She quickly took a hold of his cloak that time and wrapped herself around it as much as she could. Then she was grinning like a lovely maniac and exclaimed how much she wanted to touch his Cape of Doom. Then, Vincent took his Cape off and gave it Yuffie, no matter how much it killed him to actually remove the Cape and have the possibility of actually washing it, considering how Yuffie is. Not that he wanted to wash away Yuffie's scent.

_Then again_, he thought, _I probably should have suspected her of wanting it, seeing how she eyes the Cape_. Yuffie was now doing a little Vincent act he noticed. She was actually, _actually_ doing the Cloak Flip. Which was Vincent's trademark move. Oh, she certainly had been practicing.

Vincent just let out a chuckle at which Yuffie gasped and proceeded to exclaim how scary Vincent's laugh was. Vince didn't mind; he just glared a bit and then sat down with his back leaning on the wall.

Then, a minute later, Yuffie had sat beside him, her head leaned on the wall. Then, as the gentleman Vincent was taught to be, he offered his arm to lean on instead and bla-de-bla.

Back to the present being,

"Hey Vinnie, what do you wanna name our kids?" Yuffie said as if in a trance. Vincent, if he wasn't the man he was, would've coughed, spluttered and probably had a heart attack. But because he's the angsty vampire with no face-muscles, let's say he just sighed. Perhaps this alone was too much to ask for our dear Vinnie.

"Hmm, Hikaru? If it is a boy, that is." Vincent replied. _Logical, since he'd be my light from my sunshine_, Vincent thought as he let the ghost (Very pale and transparent ghost who got sick of life and did seppuku.) of a smile wander his face. Yuffie didn't know why he said Hikaru, maybe because she was drunk, but she would've certainly noticed as to why he said that name in specific.

"Hikaru? Nice name, but I thought you'd name him something like Shadow or umm, Skype!" Yuffie exclaimed, jittery and swaying even though she was attached to Vincent's arm.

Vincent glared outright this time. Shadow just screamed, _screamed_ that his kid will be seen as one of those 'emo' as Yuffie termed it. And Skype.

Skype. _**Skype**_.

Vincent was definitely not dumb enough to NOT know that it was an application in the computer. And he didn't want something like _that_ to be his kid's name! It sounded…weird, and all levels of awkward.

"Yuffie. Skype is not an appropriate name for a child. And no, Yuffie, we're not going name our child _Shadow_." Vincent somehow managed to say. He was not going to discuss this topic with Yuffie, especially not with a drunk Yuffie. But then, as Yuffie opened her mouth to retort, something _creaked_ open. Vincent snapped his head to the source and Yuffie was blindly searching for the cause.

Vincent widened his eyes at the small _opening _of the DOOR. The one DOOR that locked them inside the first place. The DOOR he had promised to burn down with a mastered Fire, Blizzard and Thunder spell (ALL THREE!) The one and only DOOR. Vincent did the most logical thing in the planet; he stood up, hauled Yuffie on his shoulder (_HEY_ _even I'm not that desperate! _Yuffie exclaimed with a start) and then quickly made his way to the DOOR.

His _salvation_, his _freedom_, his _hope_! The Goddess must be proud with his tolerance! And as he jumped out of the DOOR, he noticed that it had become quiet, other than somebody's murmuring. And that was not supposed to happen when you're having a wild hammered #$#% party.

"Vinnie! Let me down!" Yuffie's voice broke him out of his thoughts and he quickly set her down with an apology.

"Yuffie, stay right over here. Do not move." Vincent said. Yuffie gave one lazy salute and started rocking back and forth on her heels. With one last glare and the very transparent ghost smile to the DOOR (Come ON! This story wouldn't be even there if it wasn't due to the DOOR! Also, Vincent wouldn't have been even courageous _enough_ to ask, ahem, court Yuffie, if it wasn't for the DOOR. Etcetera.) he went to the bar.

* * *

What awaited his eyes was sooo not expected. In fact, he didn't even _think_ that all this would happen in a few hours. It was well past 12 alright; it was 2:30 AM. Wow, Vincent was finding it hard to believe that they spend 4 hours in there. In fact, now that he stared at the place, he didn't find it that hard. Last he remembered, the people were acting civilized. Well, mostly _civilized. _

Tseng and Elena were no where to be seen, that he noted down. Where they went, Vincent had no interest whatsoever. He knew where they'd go anyways.

The first thing he did notice was a very much naked Reno sprawled on the floor beside the table, passed out obviously. Luckily, for him, his back and behind was the only thing the world had to see. Vincent would have nightmares if he saw something else. Rude was stripped from his torso and his head was slumping forward. From his slow, calm breathing, Vincent made a guess that he was sleeping. Or something that may not involve sleeping. Whatever. Cid was slumped over the table with a pool of drool (Or alcohol) beside his mouth and Shera was right beside him, threatening to fall out of the chair. She was only missing her jacket. Reeve was sleeping literally like a baby under the table. From what Vincent surmised was that they were playing strip poker, with Reno as the loser and Reeve the spectator.

Other than the various clothing's belonging to mostly the redhead, there was cotton all over the bar counter. Barrett was leaning to the counter, passed out, with his back against it, while Rufus was sitting on the ground, leaning against the stool. He was holding a teddy bear with the head ripped out. Nanaki seemed to be the only person who wasn't drunk. He peeped open a eye when Vincent had walked in and then went back to his snoozing a moment later. At least Vincent would hear the story from a sane and non-hung over being.

Cait Sith was seated next to Rufus, his head intact and apparently he was in Recharge mode. _Either because he lost interest in the events_, Vincent thought, _or either because he lost power due to all the video-taping_. He still didn't care. Though he cared about the contents of the tape; one may never know the use of blackmail. Vincent learned a lot about blackmail back in _his_ turkey days. And he learned the consequences of leaving blackmail material behind from his Yuffie days.

_Oh, now I'd be the one to do the blackmail, my dearest sunshine_, Vincent thought quietly with a inner chuckle. Chaos rubbed off him. He was a very bad company to have.

Cloud and Tifa's one was the most momentous one. Both of them were on the ground, behind the bar counter. Being so much adorable for Vince, he took a camera from nearby, snapped a picture, hid the photo in his pockets somewhere and then kept the camera back to its original place. The place being Barrett's hand. The description?

The couple were on the ground, their legs entangled with Cloud hugging Tifa's back. Cloud looked very much ready NOT to let go of Tifa anytime sooner. Tifa wasn't objecting either, from the looks of it. And from what Vince could FEEL from the aura surrounding them, if anybody dared to wake them up, Tifa would literally kick them to the Final Heaven and Cloud would Omni-Slash them out of the Milky Way galaxy. Vincent only stared. Staring did no harm. Of course, that was only when Yuffie wasn't right behind you.

"OH EM GEE! VINNIE LOOK AT THEM! THEY LOOOK SO CUTE!"

Yes that awakened everyone in the room. Except Cait Sith. He was in recharge mode. And then, when everyone glared holes into the duo, Vincent grabbed Yuffie's hand and dashed out of the bar, leaving the people to their blessed (Broken) sleep.

Vincent knew this day was a memorable one for the couple. It definitely was going to be noted down in his journal. But Yuffie knew that the day shall be dubbed as, 'The Day I spend an awesome scary night in the Basement of DOOM.'

Nobody heard about Vincent and Yuffie for a week, after that.

* * *

Ok, that's the end. I've lost completely my imagine-juice and and right now, **I was gonna abandon the story. **But a little gear kept telling me, FOR THE READERS, so for the readers I finished this doom.

**Excuse the crappy ending and the shortness. But hey, at least it's over.**

Because this was mainly humor and not so serious, I thought the beginning would be a bit more serious romantic since there has been nothing but chaos until the beginning of this chapta.

**VIVA LA PEOPLE! Thank you for staying in tune with this train wreck.  
As usual, drill time. Grammar/spellings/etc. Please do tell.  
**

Love required, opinion needed and flames welcomed. Please leave a message after the beep.  
**xD**

(Ok that was just crazy.) **Also, as a last note; there has been **1,796 **hits to "**In the Basement of Doom.**"** Thanks again for all the care and love and joy and bliss and etc.


End file.
